Parenting Your Kid
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They have high expectations but they support kids in their efforts to reach their goals. Mentally strong leaders aren't trying to toughen their kids up. They're interested in helping them grow strong. They aren't afraid to ask for help when they need it. They also lead by example. They work on building their own mental strength so kids recognize that there is always room for improvement. And most importantly, they refuse to engage in the popular parenting habits that are robbing kids of mental strength. From the way you discipline your children to the way you solve parenting problems, your choices could have a lifelong effect on your kids.
Studies consistently show that your parenting style affects everything from your child's grades to her physical and mental health. Becoming a mentally strong parent is the key to helping your kids reach their greatest potential. Mentally strong parents raise mentally strong kids who have the skills they need to tackle the challenges of life.
World globe An icon of the world globe, indicating different international options. Search icon A magnifying glass. It indicates, "Click to perform a search". Close icon Two crossed lines that form an 'X'. It indicates a way to close an interaction, or dismiss a notification. Amy Morin , Inc. The best part, most agreed, is "the friendship that emerges along with the adult. But even a good relationship with grown kids may have its pitfalls.
Parents still may be tempted to give unsolicited advice, do whatever's needed to protect kids from harm — and remind them to get car insurance. And grown kids may be frustrating friends who don't return parents' calls, cancel dates at the last minute or text their buddies while dining with the family. Just when you think you're dealing with an equal, you may be brought up short.
Forgiveness is the name of the game, but don't be afraid to set some ground rules— such as no cellphones at the dinner table, or asking that they return a text from you that begins, URGNT.
5 tips for relating to your now-adult child
Emerging adults need a different kind of closeness than when they were young. They need emotional support that helps boost, not stifle, their confidence in their own coping skills, and they need parents to bear witness to their increasing capacity to take on responsibilities, even if there are setbacks or mishaps along the way.
For emerging adults, keeping a privacy buffer is a crucial part of defining a separate identity, building confidence in making decisions, and learning to stand on their own. Parents who have cherished a close relationship when their children were younger may feel hurt if they sense their grown kids pulling away. Suddenly kids are balking at coming home during their vacations or are no longer available for lengthy phone chats.
While it's natural to miss the former intimacy, it helps to understand their increased need for distance is appropriate for this stage of their lives and not to take it as a personal affront. Restraint is the elusive virtue now required of you, to keep from giving too much unwelcome advice or asking too many nosy questions. After years of hands-on parenting, you may bristle at how often you must bite your tongue as your children make both smart and foolish decisions.
You may struggle with the want-to-fix-its, but if you jump in too quickly to unravel grown kids' dilemmas, their important problem-solving muscles won't have a chance to develop. That said, there are still times during your kids' 20s when you do have to voice your concerns and get involved even if your kids don't want you to and even if you aren't happy stepping in yourself. If you're wondering about whether to say something, ask yourself if the behavior that's bothering you is serious, dangerous or simply unpleasant.
For instance: If your son appears unshaven and scruffy for the family reunion, well, that may not be pretty, but it's not life-threatening. But if your daughter shows signs that she's smoking pot on a daily basis, that habit can be harmful. You need to address it directly with her and be ready with resources of outside professional help. When kids were young, family time happened inevitably.
But now to hang out with your cooking-on-all-burners somethings, you need to get creative. Many parents will go to great lengths to carve out time and activities that work for their grown children. Hard-to-get baseball tickets or dinner reservations, biking, skiing, even training for a marathon, like one gutsy, year-old mother of two agile sons. Her report: "My knees hurt, but I learned so much about them.
Parenting your (nearly) adult child
It is such high quality material, and you go into enough detail to be really helpful. You've helped me so much in my parenting. It works. And the more rest I get, the more patience I have. It makes a difference. Laura's advice on empathizing with your child definitely dissipates the conflict. It really, really works. Try for one day, then just one more day. Parenting helps you create a more peaceful home - and happy, responsible, considerate kids! Learn more about the Aha!
How to stop over-parenting your child - Telegraph
Parenting philosophy and Dr. Laura Markham.
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Toggle navigation. School Age age years How did this happen? Peaceful Parenting Examples Age 7 - 11 There's no such thing as parenting perfectly. Preparing Your Child for the New School Year The last weeks of summer are already upon us, and the new school year is right around the corner. Preparing Your Child for Kindergarten It seems crazy that parents should even have to think about getting kids ready for kindergarten, academically speaking. Bully-Proof Your Child Bullying begins in preschool and gains momentum as kids grow.
Building a Great Relationship with Your Child The only leverage we ever really have with our children is their love for us. Staying Connected with Your Child Much of the same advice applies that was true when she was a toddler: Reconnect every day, and don't wait when you see there's repair work to be done. Helping Your 5 to 9 Year Old Develop Good Judgment Even if you could hover over your child and help her navigate every obstacle, it wouldn't be good for her. Help Your Child Develop Emotional Intelligence Good grades are important, but emotional and social intelligence contribute more to your child's success and happiness in life than intellectual smarts.
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Help Your Child Develop Social Skills Your child lives in a complicated social world, and now is when the groundwork is laid for peer relationships that support rather than undermine your child. Free weekly inspiration in your inbox Dr. Laura's Parenting Tips. Yes I Want This Support! Learn More. Tweets by DrLauraMarkham.