Creepy Christmas

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But a second glance reveals the terrified kid getting stuffed into the sack, and that the guy doing it is just some dude in a robe. You can find reproductions of this old-timey Christmas image around the Web, and nobody seems to know the origin of it. The site where we saw this particular ornament thought it was German again!

The Creepy Christmas Film Fest to unleash 25 original horror shorts — watch the trailer

Of course that's ridiculous -- their Santa leaves the kidnapping to a horrifying Christmas demon. Ah, the screaming terror of an infant that has been kidnapped by a lunatic and hung from a tree like a shrieking little trophy. This is apparently a traditional type of ornament that we had just missed before now. This one was sold in a now-closed Etsy sale, but has fortunately been preserved at Regretsy , the archive of Etsy's greatest horrors.

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The description said it would be "a special keepsake for anyone with a special baby in their lives, or as a reminder of the Holy Infant For each second you spend looking at this, some new horror will reveal itself. The product description says it's a snowman holding a stocking. Since when do snowmen have facial features, or rosy cheeks?

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Or legs? No, this is some kind of malformed offspring of an antiques-store orgy. It has the hat and collar of some kind of old-timey clown and the candy buttons of a gingerbread man, and it's not carrying a stocking -- it's carrying a boot that we're percent sure still has a severed foot inside.

No, we're not goddamn joking. Same here -- you have to look at this one for a few seconds to get the full effect. Sure, oversize decorations are nothing new, but then you see that Santa has seized a car and is about to pounce on it. In other words, this isn't a case where they made their Santa bigger so you could see it from the highway -- they are actually depicting Santa as being a giant who can pluck cars off the street and presumably eat the squishy people inside after peeling the roof off like the lid on a can of peanuts.

This appears to be a car dealership, one that decided that it'd be a good idea to market their cars as mouth-watering festive snacks to their gargantuan Santzilla. Merry Christmas, kids! Oh, look at this little showoff! Sure, Party Girl, juggling is cool, especially when you're doing it just to spell the word "party. Get over yourself, kid. Actually, the blob-like torso melting into the party banner makes us think the shape-shifting monster from The Thing got confused at a children's birthday party. On the surface, including this precious little bauble on a list of disturbing Christmas decorations might seem like an odd choice.

After all, it's just an ornament with little bird legs. But allow us to point a few things out. For one thing, look at those goddamned legs. They will end you, make no mistake about that. If it's not already an unwritten law that Christmas ornaments shouldn't have talons, it most certainly should be. But there's something else. As adorable as this may look while it's standing and while you're certifiably insane , that's going to completely fall apart when you hang it on the tree and realize that, thanks to that hook placement that we're guessing is supposed to look like a nose or something, it's now laying on its back.

That is, it now looks like a dead bird, hanging by its beak. Remember that Orphan movie from a few years ago? The one where the little girl was really a middle-aged prostitute who refused to remove the ribbon from around her neck because she was hiding a scar related to her past and also spoiler alert?

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This isn't really like that. The ribbon is just to hide the fact that "Joy" here doesn't have a neck. It's a design choice made purely out of necessity. No human neck can support a head like that. His droll little mouth was like a stroke victim's! It's 66 frightening feet tall and, much to plenty of children's horror, it also moves. According to this story , The Aucklander reported that "his finger struggled to keep up a pace of 27 beckons per minute or 25, times a day.

Oh, and it winks, too. Unsurprisingly, residents of Auckland were uncomfortable with being beckoned to by something that looks like it wants your attention so it can ask if you're comfortable with being followed home. They literally performed plastic surgery to make this thing look human again. Of course, during the remodeling period, they had to cover its face You can find more from Adam at Alert Level Stork!

He also helped to write Four Humors , an anthology of short stories published for charity by Wordplague. His friend Kevin Axt also runs the brilliantly funny webcomic Donuts for Sharks and you should go there right now.

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Home A Creepy Christmas. Quick Details Two nights only, December 7th and 8th. We transform ScareHouse into a terrifying winter wonderland. ScareHouse is an indoor attraction, but is not temperature controlled.

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Please dress warmly. This is a scary show. If your child still believes in Santa, you may not want to bring them to A Creepy Christmas. Must be 7 years old or older to enter. Parental discretion is advised for children under